* "No!"

----So Winston Smith, right, he's in his thirties, works at the Ministry of Truth, has no life, and is really sort of a loser. He has a crush on this dark-haired girl who would denounce him to the Party as soon as she had evidence. He also has this coworker known simply as O'Brien, who he knows doesn't agree with this Party propaganda. But due to the ubiquitous telescreens, which can transmit all they see and hear to the Party, he can't do a thing.
----Finally, things start looking up. The dark-haired girl, whose name is Julia, slips him a note saying she loves him and wouldn't betray him. They sneak around, steal moments together, and pretty soon end up in a full-blown affair. Julia says she's pretended to be an avid Party supporter because it's good cover for when she breaks the rules-which is quite often. It's a much better plan than Winston's moping around. They rent a room above an antique shop in the slums, which has no telescreens and is the only place they're perfectly safe.
----Winston, aided by Julia, musters his courage and confronts O'Brien about how neither of them support the Party. O'Brien promptly admits he and Julia into this secret society, the Brotherhood, whose task is to undermine the Party by any means they can-even the blatantly unethical and mean. O'Brien also has this uber-cool monologue about how the life they're undertaking has no rewards, no rest, and is always overshadowed by the inevitable end. An agent cannot hope to withhold information during the certain torture and it's often best to commit suicide beforehand. He says that sometimes a razor blade can be smuggled in for this purpose. Winston, intent on worsening my mental horror, spends considerable time contemplating whether or not he would actually use the razor blade. I wince and turn off the mental picture.
----But then I reach the part of the book that makes me gasp "No!" Winston and Julia are in their wonderful safe room above the antique shop, where they have shared so many happy times and Brotherhood secrets, discussing the hopelessness of their work when...
" "We are the dead, " he said.
"We are the dead," echoed Julia dutifully.
"You are the dead," said an iron voice behind them.
They sprang apart. Winston's entrails seemed to have turned into ice. He could see the white all round the irises of Julia's eyes. Her face had turned a milky yellow. The smear of rouge that was still on each cheekbone stood out sharply, almost as though unconnected with the skin beneath.
"You are the dead," repeated the iron voice." (Orwell, 182)
----The voice goes on, repeating what they say and reciting a fragment of a children's poem from long ago about killing, which Winston was investigating because he loves the old times. Men in black come in, beating Julia, humiliating Winston. And as he lies on the floor, trying not to cry out in pain, in walks a man- the trusty one who owns the store! But he looks different, younger, triumphant. He's a member of the Thought Police, betraying them, sending Winston and Julia off to torture and certain death.
----I don't know about you, but that passage gives me chills.
----They are separated. After spending time in various holding tanks, Winston is beaten and tortured physically and mentally. He loses the will to live and has six thoughts only- his stomachache, food, the screaming, the razor blade, Julia, and O'Brien, who he believes will swoop in and save the day. People he knows come in and out- almost every character from earlier in the book. He fades in and out of consciousness, imagining, remembering, fearing. And then, when things can't possibly get any worse...
----In walks O'Brien.
----He straps Winston into a torture chair and begins his work.
----"NO!" I cry.
----He starts asking Winston questions, as have so many before him. The prisoner tries to use his earlier strategy of blindly confessing to everything they want and then some, but O'Brien says he will turn the pain back on if Winston lies or even seems less intelligent than usual. Then O'Brien begins to calmly explain that Winston is mentally delusional, that the past Winston perceives and is against the Party is all wrong. He says Winston fooled himself into believing his own lies. Winston's sanity is slipping. Living along with him, my sanity is slipping. O'Brien? Betray Winston?
----"No!" I gasp, hoping desperately that I'm right.